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Thursday, 20-Nov-2008 09:45:12 EST

The 10 rules that make or break your online dating experience

You can find every type of person that tickles your fancy with online dating - but before you begin pinging every hot profile, make sure you know the 10 rules about online dating.

Your love life may be stalled for a number of reasons. A recently ended relationship might leave you stranded with a condensed social circle and feelings of loneliness. You might have experienced a recent change, like a divorce, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. No matter what the circumstance, it is hard to meet new people. Enter the world of online dating - full of variety, spice, and excitement. If you're new to the online dating scene, there are several things that everyone should know.

1. Plan ahead

What do you want to gain from online dating? If you just want a casual relationship, then make it clear to others that you aren't interested in a serious romance. There are plenty of people using online dating sites who want friends, casual dating, long term relationships, or spouses. Identify what category you fall under and make it known - this protects you and others from getting hurt.

2. Ask your friends

Many people are finding their relationships with online dating. You'll be surprised to find out that your friends are spending time in chat rooms and sorting through profiles. Ask them what works, and what sites to use. The best advice comes from someone you trust.

3. Start slow

There is no need to rush into taking the next step with online dating. Spend as much time in the chat room or talking on the phone as you want - make sure you're ready to meet face-to-face to create a good experience for the both of you.

4. Honesty is the best policy

If you want a successful online dating experience, then be truthful. Don't lead people on, and show self respect by disclosing things that are honest. It can be tempting and easy to embellish online, but this does not bode well for the relationship - whether casual or serious.

5. Organize and prioritise

In the beginning, keep your correspondences between just a few people. There are so many possibilities in online dating; it's easy to become overwhelmed. Identify those who you feel are in the best alignment with your personal wishes, and go from there. When you prioritize with online dating, you give yourself the best chance to meet someone that's perfect for what you are seeking.

6. Read between the lines

Unfortunately, not everyone will be as honest as you are. It's acceptable to ask for references and check out verifiable information before agreeing to set up a face-to-face meeting. Don't be afraid to ask for background checks or consult public records.

7. Mind your manners

That old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" still applies to online dating. Chat rooms often give people a sense of invincibility. When the fingers start flying, things tend to move fast and have the potential to get steamy. Stop. Think. If you wouldn't say it to a complete stranger face-to-face, don't say it at all.

8. Upgrade yourself

Many online dating sites charge fees. You might find more success on a site that cost you a small fee, as other users may have a similar level of sincerity to your own. Think of it as an investment in your future.

9. Correspond quickly

If you are new to the internet and computers, it is possible that you won't access chat rooms or your email every day. Try not to make yourself too unavailable, as interested parties might lose patience if they wait a week to hear an email response, or they never see your screen name light up in the chat room.

10. Protect yourself

When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.

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Thursday, 20-Nov-2008 09:45:12 EST